i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
