There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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