Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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