so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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