Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
