Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
