Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Randomize
