He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
