i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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