I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
