YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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