He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
