drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
