I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
