WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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