I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
