Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize