She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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