why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
