she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
