saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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