do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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