Betty ford says i'm here all night
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize