my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
