Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize