I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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