I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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