Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
