I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
