i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
