so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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