I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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