Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Bring me that man meat
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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