This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
