I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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