If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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