I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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