Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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