I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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