you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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