Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
