Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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