You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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