OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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