I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
