That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
