piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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