Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
