hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
