you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
