Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
