You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize