just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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