What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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