Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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