My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize