he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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