I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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