i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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