Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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