plz talk dirty to me
I cannot find my penis.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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