im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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