she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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